Today was hard. I felt really discouraged to keep on dong what I am doing for Lent. I just thought about it for a while and realized that it won't really make a difference. Later in the day I went to mass and realized that I should keep going because it's lent, and Jesus didn't give up on us on the way to the cross, so there is no way I'm giving up on him because of stupid reasons.
The reason why I was upset about it today is because my good friend back from high school was in town but she told me she couldn't hang out with me this week because she was really busy and I totally understood. My other friend just had surgery and told me that she didn't really feel up to hanging out because it hurt. I totally understood. I went to her house for less than 3 minutes to leave her some treats and tell her to get well soon. Everything was fine, but today, I log on to twitter and find out that those two friends hung out yesterday and watched movies and went out and I just felt extremely stupid about everything. The only reason why it hurts so much is because people always do that to me. I don't know what it is about me, but it happens very often. I get over it eventually, but then it happens again. It was just hard today because there I was, dedicating my day to someone for lent and I was really loving humanity and thinking everyone is beautiful but at the same time realizing that no one cares.
That's when I went back to the 'Real Friends' blog post and my own thoughts and word reassured me. Real friends are hard to find. And we should love everyone we encounter with all of our hearts, even if they don't love us in return. So, I am not giving up, I may be discouraged, but I am not quitting. I went to mass and the lyrics to the following song really spoke to me:
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| This reminded me of why I'm running to the cross. |
I think the following days will be better. Spring Break is over, and I will be returning to campus, and there are a lot more opportunities to perform good deeds there and I can go to daily mass and adoration and I am going on a Retreat next weekend. I am so excited about it.
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Day 12 of Lent
- Live for others Jar- I refused to take a name out of the Jar and I feel really bad about it now. I won't do that again. I will live tomorrow fully for the person that gets picked.
- Good Deed- none (terrible I know).
- Positive experience- My friend Megan spent the night at my house because campus wasn't open yet, so I got to watch a couple of movies with her and just hang around my house and talk to her, ad that as really nice. My mom, my sister, and my brother also returned from their trip, and my brother was so excited to see me, and gave me a lot of hugs, and that made me smile.
- 3 things I am grateful for:
- My brother
- Snow-cones
- Teen Mass
- Prayer intentions- for my new roommate's mom who is having surgery tomorrow, for myself so I can continue my lenten promises and continue getting closer to Jesus, and for all of those who live in countries that are not free.
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